There is work and then there is work

I have been wondering lately what it is that I am working at. I have my job of course, which is vitally important to our survival. It provides the resources that support our life and lifestyle. And to do so, it requires my attention and effort. So work is, well, work, a job, a series of consecutive tasks.

But then there is my work. What am I all about? What, besides merely struggling to stay alive, is my work. The Stoics were big fans of differentiating between those things that all animals do, and what sets us apart as a species. The fact of working to feed, shelter and clothe myself and my family doesn't really separate me from the cats, etc. They do the same.

Now the Stoics believe that two things made us distinct from other animals. We are able to reason at higher levels. We are also able to act virtuously to protect and provide for the entire species, to go beyond the family or tribe, and make global differences.

If we are able to combine the two types of work, that which causes us to survive at an individual level, and that which enhances the species, we are well placed. In some small way, most of us do qualify for that, if you follow the rabbit down the hole far enough. But for myself, I know that I want my impact, my contribution to society and the species, to be direct. I want to know that something I have done has made a concrete contribution.

But the brutal truth of it is, that I am just one fairly average man (given the context I am in) so I really can't expect to set the world afire. Perhaps that is why I try to find smaller ponds, in which I can act as a bigger fish, not in the predatory sense, but as a contributor. If I can make a bigger difference in a smaller group, will that satisfy my ego?

Perhaps that is all that it is. Ego, a desire for self-aggrandizement, to be a legend in my own time. Is it because I want to KNOW that I am important, that I need for the people around me to tell me that I matter? Maybe it is because I know that I am merely one of over 6 billion people, a small cog in a massive machine. And the machine grinds on into eternity, occasionally throwing up one of it's parts as a peak of achievement. But as Marcus says, when we are dead we are forgotten by the vast majority of people, and soon even those who remember us are dead and forgotten as well. And not long after that, cosmically speaking, even the energy and particles that made up our existence have been recycled to make other creatures and people and plants. We are litterally dust in the wind.

But that is the point. The thing we must, I must, understand. It is foolish and irrational to wish that I am other than I am. I am a cog in a six billion piece machine. I am going to die, and within a few hundred years, I will be completely forgotten. My ego rails against this, screams for fame and immortality. But my rational mind looks on. If I am to be a cog, I will be the best damned cog I can be. I will do the work that falls within my reach to the best of my ability. I will strive to be human. And that is my real work.

Getting Myself Committed

Confirmation comes in strange clothes. This blog is about my personal journey, and so the only ones I expected to have any real interest are my friends and family. Imagine my surprise when I received a comment from a new contributor to yesterday's blog. The comments were positive, encouraging and served to confirm my resolve to resolve to commit.

The idea of having commitment as my personal theme for 2010 really only coalesced at the end of yesterday's blog. I think that validates the psychological practice of 'talking it out.' So if 2009 was the 'Year of Change,' which had the result of not changing a damned thing, then 2010, as the 'Year of Commitment,' is going to change everything. As a Stoic, I just love paradoxes.

So here are the things that I am doing right now, that I am going to keep doing throughout the year.

1. I am currently working on the DP, and will complete it by year's end.
2. I have already started the Olympian Oracle, to prepare it for publication. That is also to be done by year's end.
3. Complete the Oak Leaves submissions on time for the balance of the year. I have to get to work on this one, as the blue line for the Spring issue is due in a few days.
4. I have made some significant progress on the Stoic Studies program with Erik at the College. I am going to complete this, which shouldn't take more the 4 - 5 months. Afterwards, I am going to continue working through the yet to be developed Stoic Mentorship program.
5. Pam and I have decided to work our way through some personal Stoic studies. We will start the year off with Keith's Stoic Serenity course, and when that is complete, work on William's Guide to the Good Life. This may not take us to the end of the year, but some other course may come up in the meantime to flesh it out. The point is that we study, deeply, together.
6. Words of the Ancient Wise. Everyday, alone or together.
7. This Blog, 3 times/week minimum. I have already experience of the power of writing, beyond mere catharsis.
8. Renovations to the upstairs of the house. With the holidays over, there are simply no excuses for not finishing what we started.
9. Health. This one is a bit of a stretch, but I might just try to shoehorn it in. The car broke down this week (New Year's Eve) and we decided to go car-less, for the time being at least. This means more walking (a lot more!). I am also going to be taking the bus to and from work. The extension of more activity in my life seems to be reasonable though. Wii on nights when we have no-where to go, and walking to places where there are things to do.

So these are the nine things I have committed to continue. None of them introduce new intentions or practices, none are strictly speaking, new. The list even breaks down nicely into Spirit (1-3 in green are focussed around the ADF), Mind (4-6 in blue are all about Stoic Studies) and Body (7-9 in red). The last is also easy enough to figure out, with the physical/emotional action of writing, the labour of renovations, and the obvious health focus.

Not too much. Not too little. So I am committed to the Nine through the end of Ten.

And then there were three

I have been trying to work out how best to combine my various interests in a way that owuld allow me to have them all in the same tool.

I think I have it.

Blogger for journalling
Google Docs for long assingments
Google Sites to act a central location

Like all things in the theme, it works all in 3s.

Finally.

A Return and A Reprieve

Back at the blog after a few months. Looking back over the post, I realized 'plus ca change...' Several newnesses in my life, and much continuance. As I now belong to several groups who share a common interest in following my progress and thought processes, I am going to be posting several entries daily. While not exhaustive, they will have the benefit of being able to be sorted through the labels.

Vrroooooommmmm!

That was the sound of my weekend. Fast and fun. It was Mother's day this weekend so I had fun getting stuff together and watching Pam and Mom get their gifts.

In other news, I have started receiving cheques from Amazon.com for my book sales. I am up over $200 so far. The firt went to making sure that Pam got what she was asking for (a jewelry box). I am not sure what I am going to do with the next one.

I am continuing with the new series. Only one has been pulled into Amazon from Mobipocket so far. I am waiting to see how that system works so I can guage the amount of time it will take to get the new series up and running.

This is a logo representing Stoicism. Pam and I are going to start reading up on it again. We had started with a little Seneca over a year ago, and after much vacilating, we are going for it! I have printed out some materials that I think will be really usefull and we are going to read through them together.

Ok Back into it.

Pam has encouraged me to keep this up. It only takes a few minutes so here I go.

Not much new except chaos. The whole GTD thing has completely gone out the window. I have been so frakking busy, and having a hard time staying focussed on top of that.

My space has been invaded, and work feels out of control as well. I need a break, but when I get a break, I seem to waste the time. FOCUS!

I want to just shake my head. Got to get it together and make it work. Perhaps moving to the Palm again will eliminate the creaping list problem. I could switch to notebooks at work instead of the planner.

My Palm is broken though, so the alarms dont sound anymore. I wonder if it would be worth rebuying a plain old Tungsten E2.

I will have to see.

Writer's Block

Weird. As a self proclaimed writer and publisher, I stared at this blank box for several minutes trying to figure out what should be written here. I wonder where Adam gets his perfectionism from!

So he has encouraged me to drop notes of my own, letting people know what I am up to. One of the things I really worry about is that just trying to keep up with that will require more time than I actually have left over!

Nevertheless, it is only pixels, so I am going to make the attempt. I will try to organize my thoughts as I go, by using the labels feature.