Alone, Once Again

So I have decided to restart my journal. I am using my blog, but I have made it private. I want to be able to capture my thoughts without filter, without having to second guess myself. This is to be my own review, my judge and jury. One of the things that I have lacked in my Stoic training is any kind of rigor. I have never actually completed any of the levels of my so called training. So here is the first step, again. Keeping a journal.

I was working on posting some of the Discourses to thestoiclife.org and while reading one of them I came across the following:

If you are acting in harmony, show me that, and I will tell you that you are making progress [as a Stoic]; but if out of harmony, begone, and do not confine yourself to expounding your books, but go and write some of the same kind yourself. Epictetus, Discourses, I, iv, 15.

There was a footnote that was added as an erratum at the end of the book, which led me back to Seneca:

7That is why we give to children a proverb, or that which the Greeks call Chria, to be learned by heart; that sort of thing can be comprehended by the young mind, which cannot as yet hold more. For a man, however, whose progress is definite, to chase after choice extracts and to prop his weakness by the best known and the briefest sayings and to depend upon his memory, is disgraceful; it is time for him to lean on himself. He should make such maxims and not memorize them. For it is disgraceful even for an old man, or one who has sighted old age, to have a note-book knowledge. "This is what Zeno said." But what have you yourself said? "This is the opinion of Cleanthes." But what is your own opinion? How long shall you march under another man's orders? Take command, and utter some word which posterity will remember. 8Put forth something from your own stock. For this reason I hold that there is nothing of eminence in all such men as these, who never create anything themselves, but always lurk in the shadow of others, playing the role of interpreters, never daring to put once into practice what they have been so long in learning. They have exercised their memories on other men's material. But it is one thing to remember, another to know. Remembering is merely safeguarding something entrusted to the memory; knowing, however, means making everything your own; it means not depending upon the copy and not all the time glancing back at the master. 9"Thus said Zeno, thus said Cleanthes, indeed!" Let there be a difference between yourself and your book! How long shall you be a learner? From now on be a teacher as well! "But why," one asks, "should I have to continue hearing lectures on what I can read?" "The living voice," one replies, "is a great help." Perhaps, but not the voice which merely makes itself the mouthpiece of another's words, and only performs the duty of a reporter. Seneca, Epist. 33, 7-9.

This is confirmation of the next level of Stoic training. Beyond the other levels that the College course presents. The course that I, myself, have not completed, not really.

This is what made me realize that I was not there yet. I had not made the effort to reach that level. I was still a Stoic 'child', parroting quotes in my daily blog. The occasional comment notwithstanding, I haven't really even read, let alone written anything.

So I am putting myself through it again. I am going to finish the Arrian exercise, something one of my students has already accomplished. And from there, the Mneme. Then finally, perhaps, I will be able to write for myself.

I write

This month has been an exercise in self discovery. I have been attempting to complete many thoughts, and none of them have yet born mature fruit.

First, there is The Restored Olympian Oracle.This little piece of research has grown in monstrous proportions to occupy almost all of my mind.

Next there is NaNoWriMo. Coupled with the Oracle, I had thought that I could couple the two, and use the impetus of the month to drive the production of the book. While I have been partially successful (approximately 15000 words thus far), it isn't what I really want to write. There are books inside of me that are trying to get out, but are blocked by the Oracle.

And there is the Stoic Order. There is a life in there, a transformation that is waiting to happen and to be shared. I see hints of it from time to time. Suggestions for practices, morning and evening, things that must be done on a monthly or quarterly basis to establish equilibrium. Yet it waits for another.

And there is the Dedicants Program, that which the order waits for. Many small flowers to pick there, small things to write that prove my position on my spiritual path. And where might that be?

The new proto-grove will require an increasing amount of attention as well. More will be needed from us, from our home.

And the Amazon.com ebooks, the  house repairs, exercise, diet, debt, yard work, the future, the past, and my job.

As I said, many things. A now another  "Do this one NOW" has reared it's head.

Final Mneme - The Last SES Assignment

I have been undertaking for the last year or so, a study of Stoic principles through the New Stoa. Today marks the submission of my final exercise, the mneme. This is intended to be a memory aid, of my own creation, to assist me in bringing to mind the principles I have learned through my reading and studies.

The Virtues great today will I express
To choose my acts to benefit mankind
And work to help all men learn happiness
For only then will I find peace of mind

I will my fate entrust to thought Divine
To guide my steps to follow Nature's way
And let my light upon the world to shine
That when I pass I will have lived each day

With clarity all judgements I review
And in the present ever mindful be
That I may always say that which is true
And thus the path to wisdom I will see

These are the words I repeat morning and night, and sometimes throughout the day. They are added to the other reminders I have put in place to keep me conscious of my oaths.

Grace of Gratitude

For food in a world where many walk in hunger
For friends in a world where many live alone
For peace in a world filled with fear and anger
For love and a place that we can call home
For the meal that what we are about to receive
Let us be truly thankful

A New Stoic Practice - Winter Solstice

[As the aim of this series of essays is also to establish a Stoic approach to the received cycle of celebrations, each will in turn present a practice that will seek to honour both the historicity of the celebration, as well as emphasizing a specific Stoic practice. Alignments with current societal practices are deliberate, adding meaning, but not necessarily changing, the habits and rituals that are already in place.]

The occasion of the winter solstice, with it's twin themes of birth and death, is for Stoics a clear reminder of our own mortality. Despite our modern society's obsession with youth and vitality, it is a stark fact that we all must die. The Stoic accepts this, and more, embraces it as a truth, like all others, that is neither good nor evil, but merely factual. For 'death shall have no dominion' over the Stoic, to whom death is a final, natural culmination and release.

Modern Stoics practice daily and weekly resignation, the release of the cares of the present into the hands of fate, or the Gods. The winter solstice is thus the Grand Release, the ultimate Memento Mori (Remember that you will die).

In the weeks approaching the solstice, the Stoic will finalize his or her preparations to depart this life. All small debts will be cleared, if possible. Arrangements for larger debts will made, and Stoic will ensure that all legal obligations and burdens are taken care of, such as the updates to will, testaments, insurances, funeral plans etc.

This is also the time to recognize, honour and celebrate the friendships and relationships that he or she may have. Holiday gatherings, celebrations and the preparation of gifts of gratitude are already part of many cultures' routines for this time of year. The Stoic is glad to participate with them, and understands the depth of meaning that these occasions can hold.

The grand fire, a feature of so many pagan and neo-pagan winter solstice practices, is for the Stoic the funeral pyre, the symbol of the final peaceful release. The Stoic does not, however, call into being the new sun, through sympathetic magic or other rite or ritual. The rising and setting of the sun, and indeed all universal cycles, are part of the logos, the perfect natural symphonic rhythm of which we all are but a single line of  melody.

Should the cycle restart the next day, then the Stoic has cause to celebrate their rebirth. Since all arrangements are already made for their departure, it is with complete freedom that the Stoic is able to join in festivities and joyous gatherings, as in days of old. This is also a time for reflection on the value of his or her life, and the contributions that can be made in the coming year.

With the coming of the new year, and the return to the regular routines of life, the Stoic is prepared to make new commitments, renewing responsibilities from the past year if there is work still to be done. Bearing in mind that all plans are tentative at best (which is seen the practice of Reservation that receives special recognition at the February Cross-Quarter), the Stoic begins the new year with solemn commitments to improve his or her life, and to make real positive change in the world.

More Mneme

The Virtues great will I express 

My actions right and true

To help all men learn happiness

And courage to pursue

I trust Intelligence Divine

To guide all Nature's ways

And make my light to fully shine

Thus peace will fill my days

With care all judgements I review

And ever mindful be

That I may say that which is true

The path to wisdom see

My Mneme

In my efforts to live the excellent aretes, to exercise utmost kathekonta, for the sake of universal oikeiosis,

I have the courage to face the world and its visicitudes.

By my faith in divine logos, my trust in providential phusis and my hope of fulfilling eudaimonia,
I receive the serenity of knowing all is as it should be.

Through my practice of careful aproptôsia, constant prosoché, and proper epilegein

I acquire the wisdom to choose my own path.

Definitions:

aretes = Virtues (sort of) it really means an excellent disposition of the mind, or the healthy and perfect way of being. we use virtuous, but it has some victorian baggage (victorian morality mostly) that is not part of it.

kathekonta = appropriate action, or the correct and right way to do something given all the available choices and options.

oikeiosis = our interconnection to each other and the univers, which brings with it the obligation of care and support.

logos = the active and creative Reason and intelligence that underlies the structure of the universe

phusis = Nature and all of the natural processes, from evolution to growth and change, and that which makes a thing truly what it is.

eudaimonia = flourishing, the fulfillment of our individual natures, being and doing what we are made to be and do, sometimes experienced as joy, caution, hope or flow.

aproptôsia = the Stoic practice of not assenting too quickly to judgements that correspond directly to representations.

prosoché = the exercise of self-attention or mindfulness.

epilegein = to add something to an impression, like "it is a bad thing' or 'i have no control over this'. It can be good or bad, depending on how you use it. (that is why I used the adj. 'proper')